I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
