i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
