She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
