I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
