No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
