nut hugger
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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