I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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