i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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