You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Even my vagina gasped.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
