and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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