I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
