My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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