Plan B is the new Plan A
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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