Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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