So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
