Rock
Scissors
Fuck
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
