if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my mouth tastes like poor choices
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
