I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
