In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
