I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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