This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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