you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
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