That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
