sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
