I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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