I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
