oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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