haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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