do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
