dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
