I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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