After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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