I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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