The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
