no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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