We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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