So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
