gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
