she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
