There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
