dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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