Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
