dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
