she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
