i don't like sucking hair
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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