now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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