oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
