come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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