Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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