At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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