Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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