I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
