the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
