My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You have to summon your inner elephant
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
