Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
