Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
