her vagine was all disorganized.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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