i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
