i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
