i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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